Dear Beergirl and Beerboy Disciples,

Fellow Disciples, I’ve an urgent request for all of you. It has to do with some money that came my way, money that was used to help this project of promoting the messages from the Mothership. Unexpectedly I need your opinion on what to do.

Well, as you all know, some far better than me, the penciling artist chosen by the Mothership was a Canadian. So, one day when I was pondering how to raise money for our beloved project some thoughts occurred to me:

  1. Our penciler is Canadian
  2. The Canadian government is socialized
  3. So, Canadians must be able to just walk into one of their banks and ask for free money!!

This would solve all my problems! My penciler was very busy drawing, so I didn’t want to distract him with doing the ‘bank project’. I did, though, know lots of other Canadians. Who to ask? Before I could even finish thinking that previous sentence, one woman immediately popped into my mind. She was so eager to please and ambitious. Yes, Ann would be great for the ‘bank project’. So, I emailed her:

“Dear Ann,

Hi! …Say, do you have time to help me? What I need done would greatly help spread the word about the Mothership… See, we are a bit short of funds. So, could you please go to a bank? Once there, get a piece of paper. Write on the paper, “Give me all the money”. Then, give the paper to a teller. Once you’ve got the money, head straight home, put the money in a box, and mail it to me.”

Ann quickly emailed back. Yes! She would get right on it. Anything to help promote the message of the Mothership!

A few days later the money box arrived on my doorstep. She had mailed it ‘overnight’. And, wow, the box was crammed full of money! And there was a note:

“Dear Skip,

Hi! It was great fun doing the ‘bank project’. Any time you need more money, just let me know!

Ann”

And, boy, did she really come through when we needed it. Canada, what a great country—who says Socialism is so bad!

I was so happy I told a friend of mine about my windfall money. He looked at me big-eyed, and his mouth dropped open.

“Skip, yes, Canada is more socialized than the US. But, I don’t think they are that socialized. I don’t think Canadians can just walk into a bank and ask for money”, said Joe.

Joe isn’t dumb. I sat up and looked straight at him.

“Joe, what are you saying?” I said.

“Well, what would you call it down here in the US if you walked into a bank, wrote “Give me all the money” on a piece of paper, gave it to the teller, you got the money, and then left the bank?”

Ok, something to think about. I quickly pondered. Then it came to me, and I laughed.

“That, that, I’m pretty sure, you’d call that bank robbery!” I said, trying to stifle laughing.

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure that’s what you’d call it in Canada. I think Ann robbed a bank for you” said Joe, looking really serious.

What? Like I said, Joe is really smart. So, he and I quickly did some internet searching. And guess what? Joe was right! Canadians can’t just walk into a bank and ask for money whenever they want. But Ann had.

“Skip, I hate to tell you this. But Ann robbed a bank. And got away with it” said Joe.

Uh, oh, I said. But, did she understand she had robbed a bank? So, I quickly wrote Ann an email, diplomatically asking her about the ‘bank project’. And I didn’t come out and use the words ‘bank robbery’. Joe and I carefully read and reread her reply. It was obvious Ann didn’t realize she had robbed a bank. She had been duped by my cultural stupidity as much as I had been.

And, I was too scared to let her know that she had become a bank robber. What would you do, Disciples? Should I tell her?

 

From the Mothership,

Skip

  1. Yes, Skip, I think you should tell her. She should probably not tell the bank, though. After all they are, well, a bank. But as Canadians like to pay taxes (we get pretty cheap health care and have some very long roads to keep up) she would probably want to make sure she pays taxes on the money she received – unless you have a registered charity. Is there a Mothership charitable organization? The one thing I wouldn’t suggest is to write about it online though…

    – a northern denizen.